We are one
by roxel-destiel-klaine
Summary: Andrea Amell is new to the USS Enterprise and begins falling for her First officer until fate takes it's toll on a mission for a mad man know as Khan. When Andie looses her memory Khan uses her to destroy the very people she holds dear to her heart, including the only person she ever loved. Spock/OC Khan/OC rated M for language in future chapters
1. Chapter 1

_The events of this tale are true based on my own accounts. This is the story of my life, the reasons behind what I did and why I did them. I was in love once, with a man who was my equal but when events happened that altered that reality I became the person you know today. If you are reading this it means that I have fulfilled my mission assigned to me by the man I once use to idolize but now hate with every fiber of my being. This letter is the last remains of my humanity the story of the one I held so dearly before I was turned into a weapon which caused so much pain to the people I loved. My name is Andrea Amell and these are the events that led me here today. _

I could feel the hate waves radiating in my direction from the seat behind me. Uhura had been shooting me them since the Captain had appointed me acting Captain while most of the crew was on a critical mission. Due to the fact that the race did not think highly of females in any position other than field work or child bearing most of the crew left on the Enterprise consisted of women. When the Captain had left he had named me acting captain and Uhura my first officer in case anything was to go wrong with the negotiations. When the captain had informed me of my new rank I began to protest but Captain silenced me with a single look. I was new to the USS Enterprise, fresh out of Star Fleet academy, and while I may have graduated first in my class it just didn't seem right to me that Uhura being the senior officer here was not deemed logical as the Vulcan first lieutenant whose name I haven't even learned yet pointed out to the captain. Kirk silenced him as well with one simple look. I made a mental note to watch out for the Captain's looks from now on. So here I sat in the Captain's chair praying that everything was going well on the planet below. The last thing I needed was to actually have to start making orders to a crew of people I barely know. Apparently my prayers went unanswered as a distress call was issued from the Captain's phone.

"Andie this is Kirk there has been a problem down here and we need help! Leave Uhura in charge and get down here immediately!" and that was when the transmission ended. Jumping into action I headed for the lift.

"Uhura you're in command," I stated as the doors closed. When I got to the transport room they were ready for me. I hooked my phaser to my belt and prepared myself for the worst. When I was beamed onto the planet all I could here were the sound of fighting. I broke out into a sprint towards the combat. I was beginning to understand why the captain had asked me to come alone. While the rest of the crew was amazing none of them were skilled in hand to hand combat as I was. I saw the Captain engaged in a fist fight with a man twice his size. I rushed behind the attacker and leg kicked him making him drop to his knees. Once I had the upper hand I implored a Vulcan stunt that I had in my personal training and the brut fell over. Kirk nodded my way, "nice work cadet. But no time for that now we have to help Spock and the others." He rushed off into the canyon. I quickly followed pulling out my tricorder in order to find the crews signal.

"Left up ahead Captain," I informed as we reached a fork in the canyon. We came across the rest of the crew who were tied up with four massive guards around them. "Captain let's think about this logically. We do have the advantage here and I think I might have a plan as to avoid any more injuries than you already have."

Five minutes later I was perched up above the canyon my phaser aimed at the guards. I signaled Kirk to try and start the negotiation for the crew. I watched him slowly walk into the open space his hands in the air to make sure they knew he meant no harm. I proceeded to watch as Kirk and what looked like the ring leader of the whole thing hashed things out. After a few moments I watched as the Alien began reaching for the weapon on his belt. I took aim, waiting for him to make the first move, anticipating his actions. Just as expected he took a step back pulled his gun on Kirk and I fired right for a kill shot to the head. The other guards became alarmed and all reached for their guns as well but I was quick enough to re-aim my shot and took them out. Unfortunately splattering blood over the tied up crew but at least they weren't in any more danger. I stood up and looked down to make sure there were no reinforcements coming.

"Captain it appears that we are out of danger for the moment. I'm coming back down to you, Andie out." I flipped the tricorder closed and began my decent back into the canyon. By the time I got back to the crew Kirk had them all untied and it looked like they were ready to beam back aboard the Enterprise.

"Was it you who took those shots? Bloody good aim you got there, maybe a little excessive with the head shot but still brilliant," a man with a very heavy Scottish accent commented.

"Uhura beam us up," the Vulcan said again. I really needed to learn these people's names. When we were back on the Enterprise most of the crew headed for their quarters in order to change out of their blood stained shirts. The Captain had granted every one the night off due to everything that had gone down today. As I was on my way to my quarters I heard the Captain calling my name down the hall. I paused and waited for him to catch up.

"You did very well down there Cadet. I'm impressed with your skills; I've never seen someone shoot like that before," he said patting me on the shoulder. "You're going to make a great addition to the ship," Kirk looked like he was going to say something but another man was yelling at him down the hall, "Jim get back here I need to make sure nothing's broken you moron," the man joined me and Kirk in the hallway. He looked at me briefly before returning back to Kirk. The man must be McCoy from my understanding. "Alright, gosh Bones must you always resort to name calling?"

"I wouldn't have to call you a moron if you weren't acting like one now gets down to sickbay now." The man walked off, expecting Kirk to follow him, which he did after turning back to me and saying, "Glad to have you aboard Andie."

Once I was back in my room I slowly walked over to my desk and began reading the log of the ship to begin learning the crew. I had no sooner than pulled up the file when I heard the ring, signaling someone was outside. "Computer open door," I said not really caring who entered my room. I continued scanning over the files in list of command first was Kirk

"Pardon my intrusion Cadet I wish to speak with you," The voice registered in my head as familiar and I turned to see the Vulcan known as Spock standing there very sternly.

"No intrusion Commander," I turned my chair around to look at him and offered him the chair on the other side of the desk he walked over and sat down gracefully. "What can I help you with?"

"I was speaking with Jim about what happened down there and he informed me that it appeared that you preformed a Vulcan nerve pinch I am quite curious as to how you came to know of this technique." Spock's voice was calm and collective and somewhat velvety in its own way.

"My father taught me that technique in my training."

"Your father was Vulcan then? And your mother?"

"She was Vulcan as well. They weren't my biological parents of course. They found me abandoned and took me in and raised me until I entered Academy. Vulcan was technically my home," I trailed off fighting the painful memory of when they had informed us it was destroyed.

"What happened to Vulcan was a great lose to all. But what I find curious is why Vulcans would take in an orphan child it seems highly illogical," Spock shifted in his seat as though he was uncomfortable. "And the only humans I was aware of on Vulcan were my mother and one of the elder's daughter who was claimed a half Vulcan."

"Elder Zevran correct. That was my father and we might have forged a little paperwork and greased some palms on that matter." For some reason I felt guilty, like I was on trial or something. But I knew that trying to reason with a Vulcan would prove harder than most.

"Zevran was a good man I knew him well. He taught me almost all I know about combat training in my years before academy. Having known that he was your "father" explains the combat experience record that landed you aboard this ship but I remember he was mostly hands on. May I ask where you learned to shot a gun like that?" he leaned forward and placed his elbows on the desk in a completely unvulcan way.

"When I was on Vulcan no one really bothered talking to me because I was in their eyes a half Vulcan that looked human. I was different, I got into fights a lot and father suggested that I find another outlet for my anger so I pocketed a gun would go out for target practice. It was the same in academy; the human students thought I was too worried about logic and reason. No matter where I went I didn't fit," I stopped due to the fact that I was letting too many emotions show. While I was not Vulcan my father had raised me as if I were and taught me how to keep my emotions perfectly in check. I calmed my mind and put on my best blank face, which looked uncannily like Spock's. Spock straightened up in the chair clearly sensing that there were far too many emotions going down.

"Well I believe my curiosity is sated for now Cadet. I am sorry for ay burden this may have caused you," He stood and began a slow walk to the door.

"It was no burden commander oyori," I heard the door close behind him a turned back to my file but I found that I couldn't focus on it. Thoughts and memories began swimming around in my head. I believe I knew Commander Spock before on Vulcan. But I was never allowed to talk to the other kids for fear that my human natures would give away the rouge we had created. He was always by himself, if memory serves correct. I remember wanting to reach out to him then because he looked as lonely as I did. Maybe this was fate then that I was put back into touch with him. I put down the report as soon as I had the intercom dinged.

"Cadet Andie, the Captain requests your presence on the bridge," Sulu's voice rang.

"Affirmative, inform the captain that I am on my way." Well there goes the night off I guess. Not that I really sleep much anyway.

As I entered the bridge I saw that not the whole crew was assembled it was just the basics. Kirk sat perched in the Captain's chair, "You wished to see me captain?" He rose to face me.

"Yes cadet. We need supplies for the ship. New Vulcan is the closest planet you and Spock will beam down and retrieve what we need." I had not yet set foot on new Vulcan and preferred to not go but this was an order from my Captain.

"As you wish Captain. When will we depart?"

"We should reach there in thirty minutes or so," Spock answered. I nodded in response.

Thirty two minutes later I was standing beside Commander Spock on the face of New Vulcan. It looked a lot like Vulcan in many aspects but it was not our home. The Commander seemed to know precisely where we were heading so I quietly followed as we reached the center of the new colony. Upon entering the "Town hall" as humans would say we were met with what was left of the council and a man who I did not know.

"Father it is good to see you again. It appears the New Vulcan is doing well," Spock seemed to be addressing the man in the middle of the counsel. If memory serves he was the ambassador to earth back on Vulcan and had taken a lot of hate from marrying a human woman.

"Who is your companion Spock? It is odd not to see Jim with you," Spock father asked.

"Father this is Andrea Amell, The captain believed that since me and Mrs. Amell were accustom to the heat on Vulcan it would be best served if we beamed down onto the planet."

"Amell? As in Zevran's daughter?"

"Affirmative."

"It is good to see you again Andrea, it has been a long time."

"Indeed it has sir," Spock's father was one of the few on Vulcan who knew my secret and he had kept it still as to my knowledge, "I am glad to see you in good health and New Vulcan seems to be prospering well."

"Indeed. Now Spock what is it you have come for?"

"We require supplies father. The Enterprise underwent a difficult mission trying to bargain with the Gorgons and they seemed to have drained us dry of almost everything." Spock father nodded for him to follow him. It seemed to be very clear that I was not invited as to wherever they were going. I watched as the older, unfamiliar Vulcan followed the pair before I kindly stepped outside to wait for my companion.

After about ten minutes I began becoming impatient and wondered back inside to see what was taking the Commander so long. The rest of the Vulcans had left the room and I quietly followed down the passage Spock had taken. I could hear voices coming from one of the rooms at the end of the hall. When I reached the door I could just barely peak inside. I saw the Commander talking with the older Vulcan who up close looked a lot like Spock, his grandfather perhaps?

"Spock you know that I swore never to tell you anything that might alter your destiny seeing as how this world is different from mine and the path you choose to walk is yours alone I do want to say that girl you arrived with today. Be careful of her she could very well be your undoing."

"I'm afraid I do not understand Mr. Spock. The Cadet is a human but she seems to be more Vulcan having being raised here, she is a dedicated member of the Enterprise. What could she do to me that would undo me?"

"All I can say for I come from a time different from this one is that in my time Spock, that girl will cause a lot of pain, and heartbreak."

I scoffed at the notion and turned away from the door headed back outside. Who was that guy anyway? How did he know me? I never forgot a face and his was one I would defiantly remember. How could he say that I would cause pain and heartbreak? Having lost the only family I knew the crew of the Enterprise was the closest thing I had anymore and I would protect them with my life. After a few moment of meditation I was Join by Spock who had a knapsack flung over his shoulder filled with the supplies we had come for.

"Are you ready Cadet?" I nodded in agreement. "Spock to Enterprise we are ready to be beamed back aboard."

Once we were back on the ship I followed Spock to the bridge. It seemed empty except for the minimal crew. "The captain expected you to be longer and gave everyone the night off sir," one of the night crew said. The Commander wasted no time in retreating to his quarters. I however took my time, still lost in thought. I had to ask Spock who that man was, so I turned and began heading back to his quarters. The door opened when I rang the bell. Spock had dressed down so he was wearing his of duty clothes.

"I'm sorry to disturb you Commander," I tried sheepishly.

"It is no disturbance Cadet," he said looking over at me.

"I just have something to ask of you. Who was the older Vulcan backs there the one that followed you and your father?"

"He is me. He came from the future." Well that would explain how he knew me and not I him. "Why do you ask?" I looked down at the floor trying to avoid his stern gaze.

"To be completely honest I went looking for you after a while and might have heard a snippet of the two of yours conversation," I couldn't explain it but whenever I was alone with the commander it felt like I was on trial under his gaze. I heard him get up and walk over until his boots came into view on the floor in front of me.

"So you were concerned as to what he said about you?" I nodded. "What he says may be true and may not be. When he came into this time he altered everything. So I would not take his words to heart. I have not," I looked up at the commander who was now staring down at me with intensity that half frightened me.

"Well I am glad to hear that commander; I have no intention of harming anyone aboard the Enterprise." His closeness was making it hard for me to think I took a step back only for him to take a step forward.

"I know Cadet. You have a warm heart and a Vulcan mind logically speaking the mixture is much like my own so I know how you feel, what you think, how you'll act. Right now I can hear your heart beating faster than normal am I making you uncomfortable?" I felt very uncomfortable not only because Spock was so close to me that I couldn't think straight but the look in his eyes scared me straight down to my core. The more I was around the commander the more I found myself wanted to be closer to him. The slightest brush of his shoulder against mine made my heart race. But now that he was so close I was scared. I knew him and Uhura had a thing it was widely talked about in the academy so the thoughts that I was experiencing were wrong. I began wondering if his lips were cold due to the Vulcan blood or warm like a human. I shook my head coming back to reality, realizing he had asked me a question. I searched deep within and found my fighter instinct and straightened up and worked to stable my breathing.

"No Commander I am not uncomfortable, more confused. It is illogical for you to be this close to another woman when you currently have a girl. I am sure this conversation could be made at a normal conversational distance." I saw I small smile creep into his solid lips.

"Unlike most things a Vulcan does this may be completely illogical. If the girl you speak of is Nyota then you're wrong. She is not mine. I ended it with her months ago. She does not understand what it's like to be an outsider to everyone. She is loved by people of all races while I am hated, by both human and Vulcan alike. I try to only show my Vulcan half but I still feel things like a human. It is hard to be around people who don't understand, which is why I believe I feel safe around you," his hand came up to cup my cheek. His hands were like ice on my burning skin. His thumb began stroking back and forth on my cheek in such a soothing way I began to lean into the caress. "You, and you alone know what it's like to be on the outside looking in. you are a human but were raised by Vulcan parents. You were taught the ways of logic and reason like me but you are still human meaning you give into your emotions when logic fails. When Spock prime inferred you would be my undoing I thing he meant my way of being. I find myself unable to think logically when you're around and wondering if that lovely blonde hair of yours is as fine as it looks. I find myself wanting to reach out and touch it," his hand moved from my cheek to my hair, playing with a strand between his fingers. He raised it up to his lips and kissed it, like they did in a lot of the old movies my old roommate use to watch. I could feel the blush creeping into my face as his gaze softened more each second he talked. I could see the hurt in his eyes now. All the pain and loneliness he kept hidden for so long. I realized I'd seen that look in his eyes before, whenever I was alone looking into mirrors that look was there. "Andie," the sound of my name on his lips made me shudder, "I find myself wanting to give into my human emotions. Will you grant me permission? Just this once?" I really had no idea what he was asking permission for but I nodded anyway, willing to accept whatever it was this man had to offer me. Spock closed the distance between us and kissed me. I found my answers that his lips were actually warm and very soft against my own. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around his neck trying to pull him closer. I had not realized that tears were beginning to streak down my pale cheeks. Spock must have felt them for he pulled away and lifted his hand up to wipe them away. I had never known life could be this sweet. Spock pulled me into a tight hug. I nuzzled my face into the crook of his neck and let myself cry. Moment later I could feel Spock was crying as well. We had both held back for so long, knowing that if we showed emotion it would show just how human we were. After what seemed like hours but was only minutes, I pulled away from Spock wiping the tears from my own eyes and then his. "Shan hall as," he muttered. In Vulcan it meant the engulfment in human it was like love at first sight. I had only been aboard the Enterprise for three earth days and had already began a relationship with the First Officer but right now I couldn't care less about rules and regulations. I needed Spock just as much as I think the needs me. "Ni'var," I responded. I never really used Vulcan very much but it seemed like it was a connection to Spock, a way to show him just how alike we are. We were two halves that make a unity. As much as I wanted to stay there, safe in the arms of my Commander I knew that eventually the logical Spock would be back and he would be worried about people's speculations as to why I had been in his quarters for so long. I pulled out of his embraced and straightened my uniform a bit.

"I should probably go commander. You know how people love to talk," it was ripping my heart to say those words but I knew it was logical. Spock surprised me when he grabbed my wrist and pulled me over to the bed.

"Let them talk for right now I don't care. I want you here with me, unless you want to leave," he looked sad as if there was a chance that I might reject him. I smiled and leaned down to briefly brush my lips against his.

"There is no place I'd rather be than here with you Spock." That being said Spock laid down on the bed making room for me. I was still in my uniform but that didn't matter, all that mattered was Spock was waiting for me, beaconing me into his arms and that was right where I wanted to be. I curled up next to him on the bed, snuggling into his warmth as his arms encircled around me.

"Nemusha Ainama Aisha," Spock murmured into my hair. It was the Vulcan way of saying sleeps my beautiful love. And soon I did, I became lost in the sound of Spock's heart and soon became engulfed.

Looking back now I wish things could have stayed that way forever. I wish I could have frozen time at that very moment to keep the pure love we had safe. It was like a dream come true, but not all dreams are good. Some become nightmares, things that haunt us even when we are awake, things we will never forget. My dream of a life with Spock was crushed the day I found out about the mad man known as Khan…


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you to everyone who is reading this story! I've decided to make this story into four chapters so this one is shorter than the last one but the next updates will be much longer i promise! :D I am working on chapter three now so it will be posted by Saturday at the latest. and with that enjoy!

I awoke the next morning still tangled up in Spock's arms. I had been awoken by a noise that had come from the desk area and carefully got out of bed to see what it was. Spock's data pad had tinged that a new message was received. It was rather early in the morning for someone to be sending messages let alone for someone to be up so I opened up the panel and read the incoming message.

_The criminal know as Khan has been spotted outside the Neptune galaxy. The star ship Explorer was destroyed on contact with the enemy. Many lives were lost as the attack was sudden and took the crew by surprise. All ships are to stay out of the area under mandatory orders. The criminal is considered highly dangerous and will kill on site. No ship is to engage with this madman either. ~star fleet command_

I remember the first attack Khan had made against the federation and had hacked into his files before to see just what made this man such a hostile terrorist. He was skilled in hand to hand combat and advanced weaponry. No one that fought him seemed to stand a chance. One report said that Spock had engaged him in combat and even he could not truly beat the madman. Vulcan's were known for their strength but most Vulcan's were not trained in combat feeling that a logical conclusion could always be found.

The Neptune galaxy was not far from our current location and no doubt he had set up an outpost on Neptune itself. As far as I knew the enterprise would be heading that way in 5.4 days as soon as we stopped at Romulus. I could get there in less than a day. For some reason something inside me slipped the data panel into my back pocket and went to head back to my quarters to prepare for battle. I knew that if the Enterprise were to face Khan Head on no one but me would be able to stop him and I knew what I had to do. I would leave the Enterprise via shuttle and face this villain head on.

I quietly exited Spock's quarters and headed back to my own. It seemed no one was awake at this hour so the hall was empty. Just as I turned down the hall to my room I bumped into someone. I looked up to see the Captain looking down at me. "Good morning Andie. What are you doing up this early?" I turned my back to the wall so that Kirk would not see what I was hiding in my back pocket.

"I could ask you the same thing Captain. Logic dictates that it is likely that both of us are up this early due to the fact that we have Alpha shift in just over an hour." The captain smiled at me.

"You know for a human you sound a lot like Spock," he laughed at his joke.

"Of course Captain it is only logical. We were both raised on Vulcan where logic is basically the key to the universe."

"Wait hold on, you're Vulcan?" the Captain looked thoroughly confused. With good reason I guess seeing as how I was not as pale skinned or refined or didn't have pointed ears. I smiled.

"Come now Captain do I really look Vulcan to you? I believe I'm as human as yourself. Simply because one is raised some where does not make them by default a part of that race." The captain smiled again. He really did have a radiant smile. Captain James T. Kirk was well known at the academy. In fact it was hard to have a conversation half the time without his name coming up at least once. He was known for his bravery and his libido unfortunately.

"Well I see your point Cadet. I'm sorry if I kept you from anything important," he looked nervous for some reason. And from my knowledge Kirk was not one for saying sorry. While I would normally have questioned him on his choice of words I needed to get to my quarters to prepare.

"You were not keeping me from anything Captain. I find each time we speak I learn more and more about you. It is a pleasure to be in your presence Captain," I could literally see his ego inflate to the size of a planet.

"So being a logical thinker are you a fan of Chess?"

"Indeed Captain I do like the game of Chess."

"Perhaps after shift you and I could play a game or two. Seeing as how it seems I don't know very much about you I think it would be a good chance to get to know you."

"Affirmative Captain." I hated lying to him. I knew that I would most likely not be here by the time the Captain's shift was over. I planned to be gone before mine even begun. Kirk smiled and continued walking down the hall. I quickly dashed into my room and began tossing stuff into a bag. Once I had everything I was going to need to catch Khan I sat down at the desk and began writing a letter to Spock

_To my dearest Spock, I hope you do not take my leaving as a sign of rejection for you. I'm going after Khan. You received a message from star fleet saying they think they know his current location and I plan to intercept him. Please do not come after me. I shall return to the Enterprise as soon as my mission is done. I could not stand to see you or anyone aboard this ship hurt. I believe I am strong enough to engage him face to face and if the ship were to come across him I fear we would have no chance. I will come back to you Spock I promise. ~all my love, Andie_

It had taken every ounce of strength I had to not cry. I had no way to be certain that I would return safely but that's what being a member of Starfleet is about. The needs of the many out way the needs of the few, or the one. If I were to fall in combat the Enterprise would still be safe but other ships might parish if I did not attempt this. I headed to the shuttle bay while was empty except for the man known as Scotty. Slipped passed him seeing as how he was more engrossed in the computer to notice me. I boarded a shuttle craft and set destination for Neptune.

Somehow I managed to sneak out without raising any red flags whereas no one came after me and there were no hails to the shuttle. When I made it to Neptune I began to set everything up that I would need to make Khan come down and fight me. I had rigged a device to register a magnetic device of a full star ship and my plan was to hail for help. From what I knew of my opponent, he would most likely be scanning frequencies to find star fleet ships. With any luck he would come to answer my hails.

Once all the equipment was set up and powered on I began transmitting the hail signal.

"This is Andrea Amell, Star fleet Cadet. My ship's core exploded and I am stuck here. If there are any Star fleet ships in the area please respond, I repeat please respond." I did not have to wait as long as I thought for my answer.

"This is John Harrison of the USS Vengeance responding to your hail Cadet," the voice being transmitted over the communicator was much different than I expected. It was smooth like velvet or silk with power seeping over it. "Cadet we have heard your hail and are coming down now to retrieve you." I readied myself for combat. I estimated that Khan would send down a crew of five to six men at least but he alone beamed down before me. He was tall; about six two with jet black hair that was slicked back perfectly except for a few strands that were blowing in the harsh winds. His shoulders were broad and his black star fleet shirt with the fading remnants of a patch showed his muscled physique. He was a tower of strength and appeared more daunting than I had anticipated. But it was far too late to turn back now. He began looking around the area and his eyes fixed first on the shuttle then on the machine that was admitting the fake radiation waves.

"Well aren't you a smart one. You truly had me believing there was a full ship down here," the corners of his mouth twitched up into an arrogant smirk. "Or perhaps you are just very foolish. Do you not know who I am little mouse?"

"You are the villain known as Khan. The most wanted person in every galaxy. A genetically engineered fighter designed for the purpose of war and weapons design."

"And you are Andrea Amell best combat fighter the academy has ever seen. Trained in hand to hand combat and shooting accuracy. A human raised by Vulcans so that you fight with logic and can anticipate any move an opponent makes currently stationed aboard the crew on the Enterprise." His knowledge of me was shocking. But having been forced to work for star fleet to build weapons it was logical that he had access to people's files.

"I know about you it is no surprise you know about me as well," I had to remain calm and give no sign of my initiative.

"I have known about you for a long time now. You would make an excellent addition to my crew," he was unwavering and each word dripped with evil.

"There is no way I would join you!" I reached for my phaser and took aim and shot before he had time to react but he was fast than I expected. He easily dodged the shoot ducking down into a defensive crouch. I took aim again but missed once more. Khan had moved in front of me and knocked the phaser out of my hand. It tumbled of somewhere into the snow. I had no time to see where it had landed because Khan swung and I ducked down to avoid the punch. I extended my leg out to trip him, which actually worked he tumbled back into the snow and I jumped up to gain the advantage. I jumped on top of him and pinned his legs down with my own and began punching him repeatedly. He seemed to be losing strength but he quickly unpinned his legs and kicked me back. His legs were so powerful that I was thrown so far back that I hit the shuttle craft, hard. My vision started to blur and I reached back to touch the painful spot on my head, it was wet. I looked down at my hand to see it was stained with blood.

"What a little spit fire you are little mouse. You will make an excellent addition to my crew," I saw Khan standing above me with a wicked smirk slayed across his face. That was the last thing I remember seeing before everything went pitch black…


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you to everyone who has Favorited this story and for your amazing reviews! i'm happy to present you with chapter three of our adventure.

WARNING! while the rest of the chapters have been kinda fluffy and sweet i feel this one turns dark towards the end. also will mostly switch to M rating just for the last scene in this chapter. One more to go! i will see you all then!

The next thing I remember is waking up on a bed with all kinds of tubes attached to me. Khan was sitting by my bed side.

"I see you are awake," he said. At that time I had no idea of who he was, I did not even recall who I was. I nodded slightly and sat up carefully to make sure none of the tubes were disrupted.

"I'm sorry sir can you tell me where I am?" my head was throbbing and I reached up to touch it to find it wrapped in bandages.

"You are aboard the USS Vengeance Commander," Khan stood up and looked at the machines as to see if there was some explanation for this. The word felt weird to me.

"I'm sorry I seem to have no memory prior to waking up just a few moments ago? Can you help me?" a million questions were running through my mind but I couldn't find enough strength to turn them into words just yet.

"None at all?" did he just smirk at my loss of memory? I swear that's what I saw but said nothing. "Your name is Andrea Amell. You are my first officer aboard this ship."

"So if I'm first officer that make you the Captain I'm assuming," my body was responding better now and the buzzing in my head seemed to be dying down a bit. "Does that mean we are part of star fleet then?" I had no idea what star fleet was but the words felt familiar on my tongue.

"Quite the opposite Commander. We have been on a mission to destroy star fleet," his eyes darkened and ice tinged his voice. While he looked refined he was defiantly attractive, in every sense of the word. His pale green eyes while cold and distance were intoxicating and I felt if I looked into them for too long I found myself lost. "They killed our people. We were made different from them, designed for warfare and destruction. You and I alone were unfrozen to help start a war we designed weapons for them, even this very ship but the rest of our crew remained asleep. We planned to smuggle them out in the weapons we were building but we were caught. The missiles ended up aboard a ship known as the USS Enterprise where their first officer armed them in an attempt to blow up our ship. He murdered all 72 of them, including the ones your parents were in." The name Enterprise sparks something in me. It seemed familiar to my dysfunctional brain, perhaps because it caused so much heart break for khan and me.

Everything Khan told me was a lie of course; a sick story to get me to do exactly what he wanted me to. But at the time it was the only truth I had to grasp onto. It became my reality.

"I'm sorry but I do not know your name Captain," I stated.

"My name is Khan." His voice had a low growl to it as he uttered the statement.

"Captain Khan, would you mind explaining why I am hooked up to all these tube things and my head bandaged?"

"It is my fault I'm sorry cadet. We were sparring and you hit your head the tubes are for the blood transfusion to help you recover faster," he went over to check the machine. "It looks like everything is finished I can go ahead and take them out now and remove the bandage." He walked up close and leaned over me as he started to remove the bandage. His body was radiating warmth and I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. I began to feel nervous but held still. Once he finished with my head he moved down to my arms. Ghostly fingers began working to extract the needle. His fingers were long and elegant and pale like his perfect face. Once they were all removed Khan backed away and I hopped of the table. My legs apparently were not ready for the sudden movement and I stumbled but Khan caught me with strong arms. I leaned against him for support; I could faintly hear his heart beat against my ear. Once I felt sturdy I pushed out of his hold in order to stabilize myself.

"Captain I believe I have spent enough time being sickly. As you stated we have a mission. It is time to bring star fleet down including and the Enterprise." I looked up at my captain waiting for orders. He face curved into a wicked grin.

"Your sense of duty is what makes you an amazing first officer little mouse," he leaned down and kissed the top of my head. I felt my insides do a flop. I wanted the approval of this man, wanted him to cherish me, praise me, and maybe even love me.

The next week was spent on the ship retraining me for combat to make sure I was in perfect condition. I felt strong like I had super human strength, which it turns out I kind of did. Khan had informed me that our blood had been manipulated so that we were better, stronger and faster. On my second day awake Khan and I destroyed a star fleet ship that had come across our interface. We made sure there were no survivors. Khan talked often about the events that lead to the death of our crew. His interactions with a man named Kirk and the Vulcan known as Spock. The more he talked the more my blood boiled with hate. I felt the burning desire to kill Spock with my bare hands for what he had done. One day I even got up the nerve to ask the captain about it.

"Captain I have a request if I may speak freely." Khan was in his quarters the rest of the minimal crew we had manning the ship.

"I encourage you to speak your mind. I do love hearing all your little ideas you keep locked up in there," he smiled slightly.

"Captain I know that are mission is Star Fleet but I am assuming that one day we will go after the Enterprise and bring justice the Kirk and Spock," I paused waiting to see if he would validate me idea.

"Of course Andrea. I plan on bringing them to justice. But first I want them to know what it's like to have the people around them die and that there is nothing they can do to stop it but come face me directly. I plan on killing them with my own hands," his voice turned harsh again as if remembering everything that was lost was paining him all over again.

"I would have it no other way Captain. But I do have one request?" Khan nodded at me to continue. "When we get our revenge, I request that you leave the murderer known as Spock to me. I want to make him answer for what he did and see the life drain out of his body." I could feel myself shaking with rage. That man had become my sworn enemy. Khan chuckled and stood up to kiss my forehead.

"You are so perfect little mouse. Your passion for vengeance excites me and fills me with pride. I will let you have the one who killed our people. I will grant your wish." I looked up at him with joy and he looked down at me. "You know long hair really doesn't suite you commander," he began playing with it between his fingers. "As a fighter you know it will simply get in the way as well."

After I left the Captain's quarters I returned to my own. I proceeded to enter the bath room and pull my hair tight into a pony tail before extracting the knife I always kept in my boot as a safety measure and began slowly cutting at the base of the pony tail. It saddened me to see the long blonde strands fall to the floor at my feet. I actually liked my long hair but I was willing to do anything for my Captain, as long as he'd just look at me I was happy. I took the ribbon out and the now incredibly short strands curved around my face. It didn't look bad, but it didn't look like me in the mirror. It looked like a completely different person looking back at me. Which I guess was true. I had become a new person under the guidance of Khan and his manipulation.

Six months later and Khan and I had destroyed 17 star fleet ships and 4 of their space stations. I had begun to wonder if we were ever going to get out revenge on the Enterprise. We were on the bridge one day and Khan looked at me.

"Andrea I believe it is time we took our revenge on the Enterprise," he said coyly. There must have been a mixture of excitement and confusion on my face. Khan stood up from the Captain's chair and walked over to me. He cupped my face between his hands. "You look so adorable when you make that face little mouse. I really do like that hair on you," he looked down at me with such intensity. I had kept my hair short in order to please my Captain. His happiness was all that mattered to me. Khan leaned down and captured my lips. It was hard and he made sure that I knew that he was in control. It was the first kiss we had shared aside from his affection endearment forehead kisses. I had longed for this my whole time here and now that I finally had it I was scared. It felt wrong.

Khan pulled away from me and went back to his chair as if nothing had happened. "Computer warp to the coordinates we received earlier." The ship took off through space and my Captain looked back to smile at me. When we stopped we were directly in front of the Enterprise. Khan motioned for me to join him in front of the screen. Once I joined my captain video transmission was turned on and a blonde man and a man with dark black hair were standing in front of us. I knew based on the training Khan and I had undergone these last six months that the blonde was Captain James T. Kirk and the man at his side was Spock.

"It is a pleasure to see you again Captain," Khan said.

"Khan you have committed several crimes against the federation. If you surrender now you might be shown mercy," Kirk said.

"I have no intention of surrendering me and my little mouse here," he gestured for me to join by his side so that I was fully on camera, "Plan to take revenge for the crimes you have committed against us." I could see a look of surprise wash over their faces. It was odd but I brushed it aside making sure that my own composure was calm and confident like my Captain's.

"Andie is that you!? We thought you were dead! What are you doing with this psycho?" kirk yelled at the screen.

"What I am doing Kirk is helping my Captain make you pay for what you've done to our people," I made sure to keep my voice calm, asserting my power with my tone. Khan looked over to me,

"Prepare the ship." I nodded and returned to my post raising shields and locking torpedoes on the enemy ship. We planned to attack until their shields were down then beam aboard to finish of the crew. We wanted to make sure our faces were the last thing they saw in this life.

"She is marvelous isn't she?" Khan said.

"You bastard what did you do to her!?" this time the comment did not come from the captain but his first officer. I looked back at the screen to see Spock clenching his fists and a pissed off look. How very uncharacteristic for a Vulcan I thought. I saw Khan smile before he answered,

"Prepare yourself Captain for today is the day you lose your ship, your crew and your life," with that Khan disconnected the feed. He gave me a nod and I began our assault on the Enterprise. With the advanced weapons on our ship it was only a matter of minutes before their shields were down and we were ready to beam aboard.

"Remember Andrea I will let you have Spock but the Captain is mine."

Once we were aboard the Enterprise I was taken aback by emotions that I could not explain. I felt like I had been aboard this ship before and I knew exactly where I need to go to find Spock. I headed up to the bridge, Khan at my side. We killed anyone who got in our way as we made our way to the bridge. Once we got there Shots were fired but we swiftly dodged them and fired our own. I saw Khan pin down Kirk and I lunged for Spock. We tumbled down onto the floor, the Vulcan not fighting me surprisingly. As I wrapped my hands around his throat he did not resist just raised his hand up. He was no threat so did not worry about pinning his hand down. It came to touch my face and all of the sudden I was flooded with visions.

I could see Spock the first time we kissed, feel what he had felt. Then it changed to the day I had left and him reading my note. The hope, the irritation, the worry he felt all became mine. Then it switched to when they had announced I was dead in combat. I could literally feel his heart breaking as if it were my heart being ripped in two.

I released my grip on his throat and flung myself off him. I remembered everything. My true life before I had lost my memory. My love for Spock, me dedication to star fleet and the Enterprise every key detail was clear now.

"Spock I'm so sorry," I tried but my voice faltered. My attention was drawn away from the fight still going on between Kirk and Khan. I rose hesitantly and made my way over to them. I pushed Kirk out of the way and began my own fist fight with Khan. He looked surprised but he did not miss a beat in the fight. Khan had taught me to well. I was better, I was faster, stronger and I knew his movements to the tee. It was not long before I had him on the ground completely defenseless under me.

I took my vengeance on him. I reached down into his chest driving a hole until I could feel his heart pumping under my hand and I squeezed until I felt it explode…

okay so in case it wan't clear the blood transfusion was Khan pumping his blood into her. and while a normal human my not be able to literally crush someones heart i decided that if Khan could ripe peoples head breaking a few ribs to get to the heart wouldn't be that far of a stretch. Stay tuned for the final chapter!


	4. Chapter 4

I stood up and looked down at the corpse beneath me. I had killed the man who had turned me into a murderer. I turned to face the remaining crew that stood on the bridge, my eyes landing on Spock. His eyes filled with horror as he looked from the body to me. I had become exactly what Khan had wanted me to, a merciless killer. I felt no remorse for what I had done to him. But I did begin to feel remorse for all the innocent lives of the men and women on the star fleet ships I had killed. I looked away from Spock not being able to see that look on his face anymore and turned to the captain.

"Kirk I know that in the past Khan's blood was used to save your own life. We can use it to save the crew on the ship," I stated flatly. I was surprise no one had engaged me, or tried to arrest me.

"The only flaw with that plan is that you just killed the man. The blood has to be fresh," Kirk stated.

"You can use mine. Khan has been infusing his blood into me for the past six months. I will do everything I can to fix what I have done here today. Your medical crew should be untouched. When we beamed aboard we were not far from here so for the most part the crew should be safe. You may take me to Dr. McCoy so he can begin working on the antidote or I will report there myself," I held out my hands waiting for him to cuff me but he simply looked over to Spock and said,

"Escort Miss Amell down to sick bay. While I know she wants to help I also want to ensure she gets there with no problems. After Bones is done with her lock her up," the Captain regained his seat in his chair. As Spock walked over to me and took me by the arm to lead me out I heard Kirk reporting to Star fleet. He informed them that the man known as Khan was dead. He mentioned nothing of me or that I was even aboard the ship.

Spock and I walked in silence down the halls to sickbay. I was too lost in my own head to say anything and I thing Spock was the same. The only time he spoke was to the doctor giving him his instructions. Spock stayed by my side while Bones got to work. It was almost an hour later that he was done extracting blood from me. I felt so weak due to the lack of blood. He must have taken at least three pints. Where that many people dead? Bones told Spock I was free to go but when I stood up I collapsed. I heard McCoy say something about fatigue but I was not really paying attention because Spock was sweeping me up into his arms. I rest my head against his chest and listened to his heartbeat. How could I have been such a fool to forget this perfect man?

Once we reached the holding area Spock laid me down gently on the bed inside my cell. He pushed my hair back from my face. I could feel a bit of my strength returning.

"Spock I'm so sorry. I know I do not deserve forgiveness so I am not even going to ask for it but I want you to know I'm deeply sorry for what I did. Not only to you but all those other people whose lives were lost because of me." Spock laid a kiss on my forehead.

"I know love. I'm sure there is a logical reason for why you did it and I'm sure we will find out soon but right now you need to sleep." He was right my eyes began to droop and sleep engulfed me.

When I awoke Kirk and Spock were on the other side of the glass I rose to walk over to them. My strength was back and I felt human again, as if all the blood McCoy had taken had cleansed me.

"Cadet you have a lot of explaining to do," Kirk said flatly. "I could lose my job by covering for you the way I did. But I believe I know you better than that you would not have acted this way unless you were under the influence of something. Clearly you are in a sound mind now. That is why I want you to explain to me everything that happened am I understood?" Kirk's voice was rising in his frustration.

"Yes Captain," I replied flatly. I began to tell the duo everything that had happened the last six months. When I was finished they looked at me in disbelief. The two turned their back to me to talk privately but I could still hear their every word.

"Do you think she's telling the truth?" Kirk asked Spock.

"Given her need to help the crew it would be illogical for her to lie to us now. But there is a way we can know for certain."

"You sure you want to do that Spock?"

"It is the only way Captain," the pair turned back to face me a determined look on their face. Spock approached the glass and reached his arm through. "Andie I will need to perform a mind meld to validate your story. I need you to clear your mind and focus only on the events you just told us. Can you do that for me?" I nodded and took a deep breath while Spock placed his fingers over my psi points. Before I knew it I could feel him inside my mind looking around and recalling the events. When he pulled away tears formed in his eyes.

"Spock are you okay?" Kirk held on to the Commander trying to steady him.

"I am fine Captain it is the emotional transference. The Cadets regret and emotions were flooding through me all at once, it was a bit overwhelming. Everything she said is true. Andie really had no idea who she was and Khan used it to his advantage. She was a prisoner of war forced to do his bidding." Spock quickly regained his composure. Spock looked at his Captain waiting for his answer.

"I need time to think about everything. If the crew recovers I will consider it an act of mercy and let the Cadet go if not she will be turned into Star Fleet and they can decide her fate," Kirk turned to leave the room leaving me and Spock alone.

Spock walked over to the glass and placed his hand on it. I moved mine up so it was like we were touching, only a thick layer of glass separating us. "Computer open cell," Spock said. Once the door was open he walked into my cell and made sure it shut behind him. Before I knew it I was in his arms again. This time I flung my arms around his neck never wanting to let him go.

"I thought you were dead," he whispered.

"I promised you I would come back." When I had written those words I was not sure if they were true but I did not know for how long I would be able to stay by his side. Even if the crew recovered I knew they would not simply just welcome me back aboard the ship simply because the Captain gave the orders.

"I know but when they told us that there were no signs of you and no body found everyone assumed the worst," Spock clung to me like a little child would to their parent, like if he let me go I would disappear again.

"I'm sorry Spock. I'm so sorry," I moved my hand up to stroke his hair in a comforting attempt.

"After everything I've lost I couldn't afford to lose you to. I knew I would see you again. Everyone said I was crazy and just prolonging the truth but I didn't care I knew you were alive. I could feel it. We were made for each other," Spock pulled away and looked into my eyes. I could see everything he was feeling just by looking into those dark brown globes. He kissed me hard. It was nothing like the previous kisses we had shared. This one was rough, filled with all the emotions Spock was trying to convey in words. When he pulled away both of us were breathing hard. Our foreheads touched as I took his hand in mine.

"Spock you mean everything to me. Had it not been for my love of you I would still be a monster. Your thoughts and feeling awoke me from my prison but I am not the same person who left six months ago. That person was full of life and happiness but now I am just an empty shell. I feel remorse for all the people who died because of me, of all the children who will never see their parents again because I was such a fool. I deserve to be turned over to star fleet who will most likely order my death Spock," at this he pulled away from me. "I do not want to die. I want to stay here with you for the rest of time, but it is only fair that my life should be given for theirs." His free hand moved up to cup my cheek.

"Andie you were not yourself. Your actions to face Khan and protect the crew were incredibly brave. Anything that happened after that was not your fault. You were not yourself; you were what he had turned you into. And you are not empty. We are bonded now, I feel what you feel and you feel love, hopefulness, honor, respect, and a duty to serve your crew. You are the same person no matter what tricks your mind is playing on you," his hands slipped into my hair. "I find that I do not like your hair at this length. Would you object to growing it back out?" I smiled at my lovely logical Vulcan and nodded.

"It would be my pleasure."

When Spock left that night I paced my cell wondering what all was going on outside these walls. As much as I could feel Spock's need to stay with me I told him he had to return to the bridge. He still was on duty and the Captain would need him by his side. I had not expected Kirk to be so leant with this matter but I guess his heart won over logic. Based on what I'd seen that was normally where Spock came in but seeing as how the Commander's heart belonged to me I knew he would not advised the Captain to rethink his decision.

It took three days for news to come back that the crew were recovering well from the antidote McCoy had concocted. And the Enterprise was heading back to Earth to deliver Khan's body to Star Fleet. The Captain had still not come down to speak with me and I think he advised Spock not to either. I had not seen him since that night and my heart ached for him. Every once in a while I would begin feeling him inside my head. His emotions would flood through me and I knew that he wanted to come to my side but his since of duty kept him at his Captain's.

On day five of my confinement Kirk came down to speak with me. "Cadet as I am a man of my word I will not report to Star Fleet the part you played in Khan's attack. However that being said I want you to undergo a complete medical evaluation with McCoy to make sure you are perfectly capable of returning to your post aboard this ship," his eyes danced and a small smile seeped across his face. If there wasn't glass separating us right now I would hug my amazing Captain. While I was surprised he offered me to stay aboard the ship relief washed over me like a monsoon. The Captain lowered the door and helped me out of my cell. "Are my orders clear Cadet?" I flung my arms around him and hugged him tight.

"Perfectly clear Captain!" I exclaimed.

It had taken Bones four hours to completely analyze me. He said that it appeared Khan's blood had completely vacated my system and that my head wound would not cause any more lose in memory and that I had a clean bill of health and was fit for duty. I slowly walked back to my quarters to change back into my uniform. When I opened the door Spock was standing there pacing back and forth. When I entered he looked up at me.

"What did McCoy say?" he asked franticly. He was incredibly wound up for a Vulcan but I simply smiled and said,

"The doctor has cleared me of any past injuries and says I am perfectly capable to return to my post." I saw Spock's eyes light up as he rushed over to me and pick me up and spun me around the room until we landed gently on the bed. "Spock I promise I will never leave you again. There is no where I want to be than right here with you aboard our ship."

"I feel the same way," Spock kissed me and everything was right in the world again. I was home back aboard the Enterprise with the man whom I loved so much and who saved me from myself. ~_fin_

Thank you to everyone who has read, Favorited and commented. you guys are my inspiration and i hope i didn't disappoint to much with this final chapter. i decided this story needed a happy ending instead of the ending i had originally planned. I look forward to seeing you all in my next Star Trek story because i find i can not simply stop writing them! until next time fans Cadet Andie out! :D


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